All acts of kindness .  Frederic W. Farrar, The Life and Work of St. Paul (London: Cassell & Company, 1885), 46. And they shall Romans 7:1-3 says. If he becomes unholy, it is only through the Atonement of Jesus Christ that he can once again become holy or sanctified. Apostolic Teachings. elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her; and, lo, he . But I never counseled a woman to follow her husband to hell. . in every thing” (Ephesians 5:22, 24), Paul’s oft-repeated theme continued. . . the married people. . We do not find the Savior treating His Church with disrespect or neglect. It is interesting to note that Paul didn’t say “give of himself.” The Savior did not just give of himself. The inspired changes made in the JST are invaluable to a correct understanding of these verses. . But if the husband were faithful, then should the wife be willing to submit to her husband in every thing? The second counsel Paul gave regarding missions and marriage was that all missionaries, single or married, should be fully devoted to the work. apostolic teaching concerning the gospel and its purpose and the church and its integrity. Christ meant in Matthew 5:32, 19:9. If you do, the tempter will drive a wedge between you. or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?” (1 Corinthians 7:12–14, 16). “The Marriage Tie.” The Apostolic Faith 1 (10) Sep 1907, p. 3. his/her wife or husband and be right. . A husband accomplishes that Christlike mission, Paul says, by loving, nourishing, and cherishing his wife and by giving himself. Missionaries and Marriage. His teachings on the subject of marriage represent significant contribution to our standard works. In the marriage covenant ceremony, vows are exchanged. His teachings, including those on marriage, reflect his discernment of the unique needs and concerns of a disparate, changing Church membership and his inspiration regarding the doctrines that should be taught. Questions arose regarding marriage. The Fathers love for His Only Begotten Son was unbounded. I need to flip back to Genesis to uncover the original creative design of marriage. Verses 25–38 of 1 Corinthians 7 address the subject of missionaries and marriage, with the heart of Paul’s counsel found in verses 26–33. Having taught the importance of chastity before marriage, Paul counsels members regarding total fidelity after marriage. Would not many of them be able to serve the Lord better with a marriage companion than without? She provides counseling nationwide by phone or web cam. But this is not right. In any event, they are an exception to the law, and do not apply, even as a personal opinion, to others than those involved.”  “It may be that he was referring to some particular persons for whom it would have been unwise to contract marriages. Speaking of guarding integrity, Apostolic singles should create and maintain protective boundaries … except it be for fornication", is, if a man marries a woman with the intention of marrying a virgin, and she "If a man The New Apostolic Church does not approve of homosexual acts: On the grounds of Biblical tenets and Christian tradition, the New Apostolic Church does not approve of practised homosexuality. God designed it. So then, if while her husband Currently, the questions of marriage and ordination are unresolved in the other provinces in the Moravian Church. Yes. ", Some teach Clearly that would not be true if the husband were unrighteous. We are going thru the marriage preparation and are looking forward to our ceremony in September. . and widows,.....it is better to marry than to burn." if thou [one who is divorced and contemplating a remarriage] marry, thou hast not sinned. . One of the most intimate and difficult of all human relationships is that of marriage. Most likely a married man himself, Paul would have been able to speak from personal experience as he taught Church members about marriage. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.” . Yet, our teens experience a unique challenge when it comes to working through loss. But Paul was neither condoning a husband’s unrighteous dominion nor was he lending support for any kind of abuse. Would Paul’s counsel in these verses be suitable for all Church members or even for all unmarried and widowed members?  Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary, s.v. More likely Paul’s concern here has to do with a husband or wife who rejects or withholds sexual intimacy from the spouse for long periods of time in an attempt to hurt, manipulate, control, or seek revenge. (Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1966), 242; see also McConkie, Mortal Messiah (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1980), 3:294–95; Spencer W. Kimball, “The Blessings and Responsibilities of Womanhood,” Ensign, March 1976, 71; Ezra Taft Benson, Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson (Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1988), 534. “But he who is married, careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife; therefore there is a difference, for he is hindered.” Then, in verse 38 (JST) Paul concludes, “So then he that giveth himself in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth himself not in marriage doeth better.”. Conversely, as Elder Russell M. Nelson noted: “Without a strong commitment to the Lord, an individual is more prone to have a low level of commitment to a spouse.” . . This is for the unmarried and widows. Marriage may be like the Abrahamic or the Mosaic in some respects without being like either in all respects. 2. Elder Bruce R. McConkie interpreted Paul’s statement to mean, “I would that all men understood the law of marriage, that all had self-mastery over their appetites, and that all obeyed the laws of God in these respects.” That interpretation would seem to be confirmed by the rest of verse 7: “But every man hath his proper [i.e., his own] gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.” In addition to the spiritual gifts Paul discerned among the Corinthian Saints, he desired that they seek after the gifts of understanding, of self-mastery, and of unqualified obedience to the will of God. Members of the Apostolic church believe that the Bible is the infallible word of God and that it must be interpreted literally to be properly understood. “I Would That All Men Were Even as I Myself.” Paul begins verse 7 with this statement: “For I would that all men were even as myself.” What exactly is Paul yearning for here? Would divorce be justified then? Third, to avoid temptation after marriage, there must be commitment. shall take that man and chastise him; and they shall amerce him in an hundred So dear Another question that Paul apparently dealt with on a frequent basis had to do with the issue of interfaith marriage and whether or not a member so involved should seek a divorce, particularly in cases where the influence of the unbelieving spouse was perceived by the member to be negative or detrimental to gospel living.  See, for example, Ezra Taft Benson, “To the Young Women of the Church,” Ensign, November 1986, 82–83; Benson, “To the Single Adult Brethren of the Church,” Ensign, May 1986, 44. Abstinence in marriage can cause unnecessary temptations and tensions. That statement could be preceded by this one: “Jesus first loved us because the Father first loved him.” Can you see a pattern? But while prophets have counseled married couples to keep their sexual passions and behaviors within appropriate boundaries, the context of 1 Corinthians 7 suggests that Paul is referring to something else. Fourth, Paul’s teachings on marriage are, themselves, indicative of his conviction to the importance of marriage in God’s eternal plan. Now, what about Paul’s counsel that women should submit themselves to their husbands in “every thing.” Are women really required to submit to their husbands in every thing? He counseled children: “obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right” (Ephesians 6:1; emphasis added). 185 Heber J. “And God blessed them [not him or her alone] and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion” (Genesis 1:27–28, emphasis added). . Total Fidelity after Marriage. Could those two statements be followed by “And wives love their husbands because husbands first loved their wives?” Now, certainly we could reverse that and say that husbands love their wives because their wives first loved them. “To be trusted,” President David O. McKay taught, “is a greater compliment than to be loved.” . And love precedes progress. you cannot put away your unsaved wife or husband. . . Many wives in that kind of marriage report a correlation between their own submissiveness to such behavior and the increase in severity and frequency in the acts of domination imposed upon them by their husbands. Since experience and credibility are so closely intertwined in the minds of most people, the Saints of that day would have been more likely to listen to Paul’s counsel if they believed he had learned, by his own experience, what a marital relationship was really like. “For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. (London: Latter-day Saints’ Book Depot, 1854–86), 16:247. Sexual desires are to be fulfilled only within the bonds of a legal marriage. If so, are we to conclude that Paul wished that all men might experience the trauma of divorce or the loneliness of widowhood or that being divorced or widowed was somehow preferable to being married? . and marry someone though she be married to another man. (Apostolic exhortations are different from encyclicals, which do focus on doctrine.) It is a huge desire of most people’s hearts to have a wonderful marriage, but it seems that few attain it. "But I say unto you, that whosoever There are some people who have said that behind the bedroom doors anything goes. This has been . It is interesting that Paul teaches the same idea regarding children and parents. During his ministry in the meridian of times, Paul encountered a Church membership that was changing with the influx of Gentile converts. Other New Testament scholars have suggested that at the time this counsel was given Paul was either widowed or divorced. Should he marry before leaving on a mission? We have a very loving and intimate sex life and we're trying to educate ourselves on the teachings of the Catholic Church. “Let the husband,” he says, “render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.” Benevolence is a “disposition to do good” or to “an act of kindness.”  President David O. McKay said: “Benevolence in its fullest sense is the sum of moral excellence, and comprehends every other virtue. married for years. "It is better to marry than to Benevolence and selfishness are opposing forces. Then all that you need for happiness will come to you.” . “That they all may be one,” Jesus prayed, “as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me. That is not true and the Lord would not condone it.” . Paul’s most pivotal teachings on the subject of marriage are found in 1 Corinthians 7, 1 Corinthians 11, and Ephesians 5. The Saviors and our submissiveness was (and still is) complete and unconditional. maid; and yet these are the tokens of my daughter's virginity. . Both can be perfectly trusting of the other if both have proven to be perfectly trustworthy, which is possible because the seeds of benevolence have been sown between them. That divine pattern is also true in marriage. In the sequence of creation, God first created Adam from the earth (Genesis 2:7). “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh” (Ephesians 5:23, 25, 28–31; emphasis added). He counseled, however, that if they could not do that, it would be better for them to marry than to commit sexual sin. . Paul’s clearest statement is but and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife (v. 11). “Surely,” said President Gordon B. Hinckley, “no one reading the scriptures, both ancient and modern, can doubt the divine concept of marriage. That is, the more He loved the Father and did His will, the more He could and would be able to love us. Interfaith Marriage. Throughout Paul’s writings, the virtue of submissiveness was encouraged in a number of different contexts, each bearing the connotation of supportiveness, cooperation, or subjection to the organizational leadership of another. brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel; and she shall be his wife; he . I would suggest that Paul’s counsel to develop benevolence, trust, and commitment is a good place to start. adultery.". take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her, and give occasions of speech Paul’s counsel on both issues is found in verse 27: “Art thou bound unto a wife? Satan can tempt a couple to adopt a recycling pattern of self-justification and other-blaming. “benevolence.”. hath given occasions of speech against her, saying, I found not thy daughter a To answer that question, consider two similar queries: Should a husband be willing to submit to the will of the Lord in every thing? The mind of the spouse begins to wander and the heart begins to stray, thereby allowing Satan to gain greater power to tempt and destroy the marriage. In verse 4, Paul uses an analogy to describe the trust that should exist between a husband and wife. That is not the truth. He wrote: “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But .  “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Ensign, November 1995,102. is not a virgin, he can divorce her and marry someone else. Second, the head of every man is Christ. Christ of the Apostolic Faith in Dallas, TX. Even marriage does not make proper certain extremes in sexual indulgence. too late. Some will say  Kimball, The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, 316. And third, the head of the woman is the man. if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, POST-SYNODAL APOSTOLIC EXHORTATION AMORIS L ÆTITIA OF THE HOLY FATHER FRANCIS TO BISHOPS, PRIESTS AND DEACONS CONSECRATED PERSONS CHRISTIAN MARRIED COUPLES AND ALL THE LAY FAITHFUL ... teaching on marriage and the family, thus paving . [What should I do about it? Marriage and Divorce. For the woman which hath an husband is There must be a forgetting of self and a constant concern for the other.”  The Savior instructed His Twelve Apostles that they were to minister to and be the servant of those they were called to lead (see Matthew 20:25–28). Paul was qualified to speak on marriage. Lord bless and keep you and give you understanding in all things before it is Was Paul counseling married couples to restrain or bridle their passions even for each other? by Clyde J. Williams (Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1996), 247, 253. Brigham Young University Love is cleanliness and progress and sacrifice and selflessness. . But, as previously enumerated, there is ample evidence to suggest that Paul was, or at least had been, married and was wholeheartedly in favor of the institution. Perhaps the pattern that would be most pleasing to the Lord, would be for the husband, the head of the wife, to lead out by first loving her. And the elders of that city  Richard Lloyd Anderson, Understanding Paul (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1983), 24. except it be for fornication" Kent R. Brooks, “Paul’s Inspired Teachings on Marriage,” in Go Ye into All the World: Messages of the New Testament Apostles, 31st Annual Sidney B. Sperry Symposium (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 2002), 75–97. Note two key points: First, in verses 25–26, Paul addresses those who had never been married and who either had been called or expected to be called to serve as full-time missionaries. But I would, brethren, that ye magnify your calling” (JST 1 Corinthians 7:29, 32). As Catholics, we must be equipped with knowledge in order to stand for truth. . “Incontinency,” Elder Bruce R. McConkie noted, “is lack of restraint and failure to bridle one’s passions (particularly where sex desires are concerned).”  What was Paul suggesting, in this context, by the word incontinency? They must recognize that they cannot break the cycle on their own. The idea that a woman should submit to her husband in everything is a controversial notion in our day. That is the way Jesus defined it and that is the way we must define it. “I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress [a full-time mission], for a man so to remain that he may do greater good” (JST). . Effective January 1, 1971. “Bible Teaching on Marriage and Divorce.” The Apostolic Faith 1 (5) Jan 1907, p. 3. Art thou loosed from a wife? One cannot obtain those blessings “separately and singly” (D&C 132:17), nor can they be obtained by two men or two women. He counsels that it would be better for them to remain single until they had completed their missionary service so that they could more easily focus on the work, and hence do more good.  Bruce B. McConkie, Doctrinal New Testament Commentary (Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1971), 2:345. “For I came down from heaven, not to do mine own will, but the will of him that sent me. The Father led out by first loving the Son. Christ meant in Matthew 5:32, 19:9. The Apostle Paul understood and was a witness of those truths. that after you have left your wife or husband you can get married to someone liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called and adulteress: but —. The basis for the union of marriage is found in Genesis 2:18-24 which reads, “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. Paul would have understood and concurred with those sentiments. First Corinthians 7, probably written sometime in the spring of A.D. 57, was a letter Paul wrote in response to questions posed in an earlier correspondence from Corinthian converts. “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. Yet, we find it to be a most puzzling phenomenon. But, what if a call came, as it sometimes did, to a married man? . shekels of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel, because he hath . else using the scripture in 1 Corinthians 7:9 saying, So if you got “If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. That is not so, because, "whosoever shall put away his wife “For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? .  Spencer W. Kimball, The Miracle of Forgiveness (Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1969), 73. The Sanhedrin, comprising chief priests, scribes, and elders, served as the supreme legislative council and court of justice in Judea. In such matters, the Lord’s will would likely be “you choose or you decide.” That should be true in marriage. Subject to the overall power and authority of Peter, the President of the Church at that time, Paul possessed the right, the power, and the authority to declare the mind and will of God to his people. Paul was qualified to speak on marriage. and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel's virginity unto 801-422-6975. Third, evidence suggests that Paul was either a member or an official representative of the Sanhedrin, the Jewish senate. Provo, UT 84602 . The husband is as anxious and desirous (if not more so!) deceives him as such and they get married and he takes her in and discovers she For he who is unmarried, careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord; therefore he prevaileth. Elder Richard G. Scott taught: “Now, the most important principle I can share: Anchor your life in Jesus Christ, your Redeemer. This is only among unmarried people. may not put her away all his days.". They are one body. Also in Deuteronomy 22:13-19 Teachings of Paul Is Divorce Compatible with Love? Trust is an expression of confidence and hope in another. And Jesus “so loved the world that he gave his own life, that as many as would believe might become the sons of God” (D&C 34:3). understanding that do not mean if you have left your wife or husband you can “Marriage . No one can put away “[But], polish your husband as best you can while you have him with you here and then hope that the Lord will continue the process to aid you even beyond the veil.”  President Kimball wisely counseled wives: “No woman has ever been asked by the Church authorities to follow her husband into an evil pit. . remarriage is totally contrary to God's word. She is to follow him as he follows and obeys the Savior of the world, but in deciding this, she should always be sure she is fair.” . One of those prophets was Paul.  Kimball, Faith Precedes the Miracle, 143. Let me suggest four compelling evidences. I will go on to recall some essential aspects of the Church’s teaching on marriage and the family, thus paving the way for two central chapters dedicated to love. For example, to a woman who feels dominated, controlled, or abused by an unrighteous husband who erroneously interprets this teaching as license to exercise unrighteous dominion, Paul’s counsel seems frustrating and demeaning. “nourish.”. In that endeavor, he is responsible for his wife and to the Lord.  See, for example, Spencer W. Kimball, Marriage and Divorce: An Address (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1976), 7; Ezra Taft Benson, “The Great Commandment—Love the Lord,” Ensign, May 1988, 5–6. “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. This paper will address some of his inspired teachings on marriage. It is likely that Paul would have wanted to comply with the traditional religious expectation of marriage. The wife does not fear that her “desire . Knowing what he did about the doctrine of celestial marriage and exaltation, it is unthinkable that he would have counseled against marriage, except in some peculiar circumstance. ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath . 083 272 9579 / 078 921 3930 Could not the satisfying of sexual desires within marriage add to rather than detract from one’s ability to serve the Lord? Paul taught. married for years. New Apostolic Church. He said: “I say therefore to the unmarried [i.e., those currently unmarried rather than those never married] and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. and Was Jesus willing to submit to the will of the Father in every thing? For [true] love to continue, there must be an increase constantly of confidence and understanding, of frequent and sincere expressions of appreciation and affection. know that thou . That is all. . To cherish is to “hold dear: to feel or show affection for,” and cross-referenced with “appreciate.”  Husbands should offer frequent and sincere expressions of appreciation to their wives, especially for the repetitive tasks they perform day after day that so often go unnoticed and unrecognized. Prophesying of the apostasy of the last days, Paul warned, “In the latter times some shall depart from the faith, . deceives him as such and they get married and he takes her in and discovers she Written By Bishop V. Bush. To serve the Lord bless and keep you and give you understanding in all respects said, “ presupposes allegiance! Is a binding covenant, because both are covenants unkind hand recognize their own thoughts, feelings, and his... Faithful, then is must be commitment central to the development of wisdom and trustworthiness must recognize they! God that way s consider each element and how it relates to the Father answers... 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